


for better, for worse (til death do us part)

by Charante_Leclerc



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charante_Leclerc/pseuds/Charante_Leclerc
Summary: Key moments leading up to the best day of their lives





	for better, for worse (til death do us part)

**2019**

He could hear the stunned gasps and whispers as he walked through the Paddock. The cold metal rested on his finger, still unfamiliar. He smiled to himself, touching his ring gently. He knew they’d taken their time in finally getting married - not through lack of trying on his part though. Jenson had never really been one to settle down, and when he’d proposed to Jenson five years ago, Jenson had literally done a runner. Admittedly only for a few hours, and he’d been very apologetic about it, but he’d been careful not to mention any plans of commitment again. Not until Jenson brought it up himself.

“Hey man.” Lewis walked up, smirking. “He finally asked?”

“Finally.” Seb agreed, grinning. “It only took me nine years to pin him down.”

“Are you going to let everyone in on the secret?” Lewis asked, making a face at the people around them. “Press release? Instagram post?”

Seb shook his head. “Still like my privacy. They’ll figure it out finally, but they haven’t found out yet. We want to keep it like that.”

“Even Jenson?” Lewis asked, watching Seb carefully. “Seriously?”

Seb shrugged. “He knows how much it means to me. And we agreed that we’ll tell people when I retire, and not surrounded by all of this.”

“Well, congrats anyway.” Lewis clapped him on the back, walking away. “And tell him that he owes me for not inviting me!”

“Tell him yourself!” Seb called back, shaking his head. He touched his ring again, still amazed and overwhelmed at the thought of it being there, on his finger. A reminder of how lucky he was.

~*~

**2011**

“Hey.” Jenson snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around Seb’s waist. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Seb grinned, but he wriggled out of Jenson’s loose grasp, turning to face the other man.” Not going to be missed?”

“Not for a little bit.” Jenson leant in to give him a quick kiss, frowning when Seb stiffened, just a little. “What’s wrong?”

“Just… not here.” Seb pleaded. “There’s too many people.”

He could see the hurt that flickered over Jenson’s face, and then it was gone, one of his camera smiles in place. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable. Go and enjoy your party, I’ll see you later.”

“Jenson -” 

“Yes, Sebastian?” The use of his full name made him flinch, like he was being scolded. Jenson’s expression softened slightly, but Seb didn’t see it. 

“Your room or mine?”

“I’ll let you decide.” Jenson said, ducking out of the room. Seb watched him go, his chest feeling tight. No, not his chest, his  _ heart _ . He wanted nothing more in this moment to chase Jenson down, without worrying about whoever was watching, or what they would think. But it had taken him so long to get to where he was, and he’d constructed those barriers around his life for a reason. Jenson would see that, he  _ had  _ to. 

~*~

Seb stumbled into his hotel room, shutting the door too loudly. Someone groaned from the bed, throwing a pillow his way. “Could you be much louder?”

“Sorry.” Seb snickered, crawling into bed, pressing a kiss to Jenson’s cheek. “Was not sure you would be here.”

“I did think about it.” Jenson yawned. “But it’s your day. Didn’t wanna ruin it.”

“ _ Ich habe dich vermisst. _ ” Seb murmured. “Wait, shit, not english. I missed you. Tonight. Kept looking for you.”

“Figured you wanted to celebrate with your team, not your boyfriend.” Jenson could hear the bitter tone in his voice, and he tried to stop it. He didn’t want to have this conversation with Seb whilst he was drunk. Seb was an emotional person at the best of times, it was going to be a hard enough conversation without trying to calm Seb down. “What time is it?”

“Uh, do not know.” Seb sounded a little sharper, a little bit more with it. “What do you mean, you did not think I did not want to celebrate with you? Of course I wanted to celebrate with you,  _ dummkopf. _ ”

“You wanted to celebrate with me as a friend. Not as your boyfriend.” Jenson snapped. “It’s like you’re embarrassed by me, or terrified. I just want to be able to hold your bloody hand in public and you can’t even stand to be in a three foot area around me sometimes!”

Seb stared at him, swaying a little. Christ, he hadn’t wanted to do this with Seb drunk, and now all Seb was going to remember of his second Championship win was going to be this argument.  _ Great.  _

“Jenson -” Seb started, breaking off and running a hand through his damp hair. “ _ Ja _ , I’m scared. I’m very scared. And I do not want it to be the rest of my career. I do not want to be doing well for a gay driver, all of my wins  _ nutzlos _ \- I mean useless. I do not want to be great despite me being gay  _ Ich will _ to just be  _ gut _ .” He stood up, a little wobbly, but he stopped Jenson from helping him, a strange look on his face. “I am going to sleep elsewhere I think.”

“Seb, I…” Jenson trailed off, not sure what to say. Seb shook his head, heading for the door.

“Tomorrow,  _ ja _ ? We will talk tomorrow.”

The door swung shut, and Jenson was left in a silent room, wishing that he could turn back the clock ten minutes.

~*~

Seb looked grumpy when Jenson next saw him. Grumpy and hungover. He stomped towards Jenson, sunglasses on and his mouth curved downwards. 

“Afternoon.” Jenson tried, watching Seb’s frown deepen. “How’s the head?”

“Fine.” Seb muttered. “How’s your brain?”

“Fine.”

“Ah, that's right. You don’t have one.” Seb said sarcastically. “I mean, who picks a fight with their boyfriend right after they win the world championship? Give it up for Mr Jenson Button, everyone!”

“I’m sorry for that, you know.”

“Good. You should be.” Seb sniffed. “Make it quick, I have stuff to do and there’s no point dragging it out.”

Jenson frowned. “Dragging what out?”

“Breaking up with me. I just didn’t want you do it last night, I was selfish enough to give myself a night to pretend.”

“I’m not breaking up with you Seb. Is that what you want?” Jenson asked, trying to ignore the cold feeling creeping into his chest. Seb couldn’t mean it, could he?”

“Not, but… it might be easier. You obviously want to tell everyone, and I can’t. I just can’t.” Seb got out, voice cracking towards the end. “Please don’t ask me to.”

Jenson reached out, resting his hand against Seb’s cheek, watching the other man lean into his touch without even thinking about it. “Then I won’t. You’re more important to me than telling people, I don’t want to walk away from this. From you. So we’ll wait until you’re ready.”

“What if that’s never?” Seb whispered.

“Then it’ll be never. We’ll work on it, figure out ways to be in public without being together. But we’ll figure it out together, okay?  _ Together.” _

“Okay.” Seb nodded, grabbing onto Jenson’s shirt tightly. “Okay.”

~*~

**2019**

“So it’s true? You really got married?” Charles looked stunned when he saw the ring on his finger, eyes going wide. “But you’ve never even brought her to a race!”

Seb shrugged, trying not to laugh at the wide-eyed innocence Charles was showing. “Work life and private life separate. I wouldn’t take my partner to work if I worked in an office, or on a building site. Why do it here?”

Charles nodded slowly, still looking astonished. “Well, congratulations. She’s very lucky. You should bring her along sometime though. She must be interested to see what a weekend is like! Maybe you could swap jobs for a day, no? What does she do?”

“They’re a… journalist.” Seb landed on. What else could be say? Commentator? Racer? Retired? Journalist was vague enough. The others would raise more questions. “Sports journalist. Travels a lot.”

“Oh wow… that sounds pretty cool,  _ non _ ?” But I understand now, if she’s a sports journalist. No favourites.” Charles looked pleased that he’d figured it out so quickly, he really didn’t like to think how he would look when the story eventually broke that it was Jenson, not some unnamed sports journalist. “Congratulations again, though!”

“ _ Danke. _ ” Seb called after Charles’s retreating back, trying to fight down that laughter again, and a strange feeling of guilt.

~*~

**2016**

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Seb asked, stirring milk into the mugs. Jenson was sat at the kitchen table, looking unusually serious for him. “You could stay, if you wanted. McLaren wouldn’t object.”

“Seb, I’m getting old. Don’t make that noise -” He said, cutting through Seb’s protests. “In our job, yes it is. I’m thirty-six. I can’t keep doing this much longer. And it’s selfish! I’m holding on too long, there are kids out there that are much quicker than me and you know it. I shouldn’t deny them their chance just because I don’t want to leave.”

“But they’re kids.” Seb muttered, placing a tea in front of his boyfriend. “They’ll have their chance.”

“And how old were you when you won a race?” Jenson raised an eyebrow, watching Seb blush a little. “You know it as well as I do, I shouldn’t be there anymore. Not as a driver.”

They fell into silence, Seb tapping at his mug. Jenson sat back, sipping his tea, watching the emotions play out across Seb’s face as he argued with himself in his head. It was amazing to see Seb rationalise things by himself now, watching him work it out, all the problems and solutions laid out in front of him. Seb hadn’t exactly grown up since they’d started dating, six years ago now, but he’d become more sure of himself. The confidence was still there, less cocky. He was a natural leader, but he realised now when he was pushing too hard. He wasn’t as highly-strung anymore, less likely to put all the blame on himself when things didn’t go his way. Watching him deal with this, a decision that was not his but affected him anyway, and so calmly. It was amazing.

“You’re staring.” Seb broke him from his thinking, smiling crookedly. “Nice daydream?”

“Lovely, thanks.” Jenson yawned, stretching. “You done processing?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’d better let those kids have their fun. Better them show Fernando up, I guess.”

“The day Fernando gets shown up is the day I lose faith in the sport.” Jenson grinned. “I mean, except you, of course.”

“Damn straight.” Seb grinned, kicking Jenson lightly under the table. “I mean, I’ve got to be on my toes now, with these fast kids of yours showing up.”

“You show them who’s boss.” Jenson agreed. “Thank you. For understanding.”

“Well, I could do with a retired boyfriend at home, he could do the laundry, clean - oi!” Seb yelped as Jenson kicked his shin. “What, it’d be a great job for you!”

~*~

**2019**

“Will I need to do any damage control this weekend?” Britta asked him, skipping past unnecessary niceties. “I just need to know before.”

Seb shook his head, digging his head into his pocket. “You could’ve asked me last week.”

“It was your big day.” She gives him a kind smile. “You may be a workaholic but I’m certainly not.”

“Yeah, okay.” Seb rolled his eyes. “No, no damage control. We’re not announcing it.”

If Britta was surprised by that, she didn’t show it, just giving a nod and typing something on her phone. He appreciated it, knowing that no-one else was going to give him any breathing space this weekend. After Canada, and then turning up married? He was surprised Ferrari hadn’t shoved him out to do a press conference the minute he’d arrived in the Paddock.

“I think Mattia wants you to give a statement.” Britta said, eerily answering his thoughts. He’d long given up any suspicion of mind-control, putting it down to the fact that he’d spent more time with her than anyone else this last decade. “Probably soon. Don’t say anything that’ll make my job harder.”

“I’ll try not to.” Seb winked as he left, pretending not to hear Britta huffing behind him. She’d forgive him in an hour. 

~*~

**2019 (Ten days ago)**

The plane ride home was quiet. Seb had kept his headphones on since he’d left the hotel, not speaking to him or Britta or anyone since last night. They normally took different planes home, he usually detoured via Monaco or London, but he really didn’t want to leave Seb alone today. Seb would have the dogs for company, but he knew his boyfriend too well. Seb would pour over every little detail, churning over every corner in his mind until it drove him insane.

He watched as Seb clenched his hands around the steering wheel, knuckles white. He sighed, tapping a hand against his leg. Seb stiffened a bit, shuffling a little. “Jenson.”

“Sorry.” He stopped, putting his hands up a little. “Sorry.”   
Seb shook his head, clenching his jaw. “I shouldn’t snap.”

“Seb, I could see from a mile away that you’re tense. You haven’t said a word since we left Montréal. I’m surprised you haven’t snapped before this.”

“I still shouldn’t.”

“You’re human.” Jenson said gently. “I know you too well, I know what you’re probably thinking.”

Seb scoffed. “Doubt it.”

“Try me.”

Seb was silent for a moment, almost as if he hadn’t heard him. Jenson waited, knowing Seb would talk when he was ready. “I’m so angry.” Seb started. “I’m so fucking angry. At myself, at the team, at Lewis, at fucking Mercedes. I wish I could’ve just punched someone in the face, or that I’d gone and screamed at the stewards. I wish I could’ve screamed at them until I was hoarse. I wish I could go back in time and not go off at that corner.” Seb took a deep breath, looking pale. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“That’s okay.” Jenson said simply. “We’ll not think together, if that’s okay?”

“That’s okay.” Seb replied tiredly. “ _ Danke _ .”

Jenson smiled to himself, turning to look outside, watching the world disappear past him. The world could wait for them to breathe.

~*~

“Okay, but if I was supposed to cook, my cooking would not turn out like this.” Seb was looking at what was supposed to be their dinner. It was more than a little burnt, smoke still rising off one of the corners. “That was supposed to be lasagne. That is not lasagne.”

“I still can’t understand how you’re so bad at this.” Jenson snickered, dodging a slap with a tea-towel. “What? It’s true!”

“Look at me, I’m heartbroken.”

“Heartbroken shmeartbroken. I think you just wanted an excuse for a takeaway.”

“I’m offended.” Seb tried to look upset, but the corners of his mouth were twitching. “I’d never do that.”

“Course not.” Jenson grinned, giving Seb a quick kiss before picking up the burnt pasta and shoving it in the bin. “Go choose something.”

“Love you.” Seb smiled wickedly. “That was not an admission of guilt though.”

“Uhuh.” Jenson chuckled. “Don’t believe that!”

He started to clean out the dish, pouring in enough washing liquid to clean a car. Seb crept back in, winding his arms around Jenson’s waist, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. 

“Does pizza sound good?”

“Sure.” Jenson twisted, drying his hands. “You wanna call, you know what I’ll have.”

“In a minute.” Seb said, tilting his head up for a kiss. “Happy here.”

Jenson looked down at him, at the lazy, contented smirk on his face, and he couldn’t believe how quickly Seb had put the bad race behind him. He’ll say later that he just couldn’t help himself, but it wasn’t that. He’d been turning it over in his mind for some months now, and he’d meant to ask properly, not standing in their kitchen with the smell of burnt lasagne in the air, but it was actually perfect for them.

“Seb -” He started, struggling to get the words out. “Seb, marry me.”

He saw that happy look slide right off Seb’s face, replaced with blank shock. “ _ Was?” _

“I mean it.” Jenson said hurriedly. “I know I panicked when you asked, but I’ve been thinking about it properly. It doesn’t scare me anymore, not with you. Seb, please marry me.”

“ _ Ich…” _ Seb trailed off, blinking. “ _ Uh, ja _ . I mean, yes. Of course yes.”

Jenson let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, pulling Seb in for a kiss. When they pulled back, slightly breathless, Seb started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I just can’t believe that you actually asked me!” Seb chuckled, trying to calm himself down. “I’d just gotten used to the idea we never would.”

“Sorry I kept you waiting.”

“Worth it.” Seb grinned. “Completely worth it.”

“I was so worried you were going to say no on principle.” Jenson admitted. “Completely and utterly terrified.”

“I would never. I’d marry you right now, if I could.”

“Really?”

Seb nodded. “I want to marry you as quickly as possible, I’ve been waiting five years.”

“What about the weekend?” Jenson said. “I mean, do you want a big wedding?”

“Not at all.” Seb made a face. “Are you sure? It’s not just my decision here.”

“This weekend seems too far away.” Jenson sad, watching Seb’s face relax. “We are going to order pizza, and we are going to brainstorm, and call people to tell them, and we’ll get married this weekend. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds perfect.” Seb smiled, giving Jenson a soft kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~*~

**2019**

“Sebastian, we can all see the ring on your finger. Can we take it as confirmation that you’re now married?”   


“Yes, I was married last weekend. My partner and I are very happy, but we would like privacy as well.”

“Can you give us anything? Name, age, occupation? As no-one even knew that you were seeing anyone.”

Seb gave a small laugh, managing not to roll his eyes. “I like to keep my private life private. I see no need to advertise anything about my life away from the Paddock, and I do not intend to start now. We’re very happy, we had the wedding we wanted, surrounded by our families and friends.”

“But -” The journalist tried again, but Seb cut her off.

“I’m not going to speak about my personal life anymore.” He said, making sure she knew he was annoyed now. “So, last race?”

~*~

**2025**

He stepped out of the car, listening to the noise of the crowd, cheering for him one last time. He could stay here forever, in this little bubble of time, where this was still his world. From tomorrow he’d only be a visitor, watching in through the glass. He wanted to turn back, tell the team he’d made a mistake, he wanted to stay. He didn’t want to go.

He made it through the weighing, and almost all the way to the media pen before he started crying. Jenson was waiting for him, microphone in hand, looking around for him. 

He rubbed away the tears, giving a small thankful smile at Britta as she handed him a towel. He took a couple of deep breaths, hiding his face until he knew he was composed again. 

“ _ Danke _ , Britta.” He whispered, giving her a tight hug. “For everything.”

“It was my pleasure.” She whispered back, ruffling his hair. “Go on, he’s waiting.”

He nodded, walking towards the pen, heading straight for Jenson. Jenson grinned, holding out his mic.

“Sebastian Vettel. You did it, you’ve finally retired. It took you a while, how are you feeling now?”

“Well, I am stubborn.” Seb teased. “Overwhelmed, mostly. Feeling too much.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Uh, not sure, in the long term. Maybe commentating, like you? I don’t know. I do know, however, that I’m going to go home to my dogs and my husband, and fall into bed for a while.”

People around him became quiet, looking at him confused. Jenson just continued to smile, winking. “Oh?”

Seb bit back the tears, wiping the stray one away with his hand, smiling at his husband. “Yeah, I think so. We might even go on holiday, I think he deserves it.”

“Does he?”

“He deserves the world.” Seb pushed himself up, jumping over the barrier. “He deserves everything and more.”

The media pen was silent, everyone focused on what was happening before them. Jenson raised an eyebrow, a silent  _ ‘are you sure?’ _

“I’m sure.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Was all Jenson said, and then his hands were on Seb’s face, pulling him up for a kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Seb whispered, jumping a little, Jenson catching him. He wrapped his legs around Jenson’s waist, resting his forehead against his husband’s. “We did it.”

“So what was it you saying about home and bed?” Jenson teased. “Or shall we give them a show?”

“They’re having a show of a lifetime.” Seb muttered, kissing Jenson again. “Let them stare.”

“Kinky.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Okay.” Seb grinned, watching Jenson as his husband’s brain stopped for a second. “See?”

“You’re a little shit sometimes.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> A return to some good ol' fashioned sebson! As usual, crossposted to my tumblr (charanteleclerc), and prompts are always open! Enjoy ❤️


End file.
